Silly Tea Leaves

from what i've learned, from myself and from some of my friends for the past few years, when we seek for help to our closest ones, when we tell stories to them, whine, or even cry to them, when we show our weakness in sake of seeking for help, when we finally go to professional and take our meds, that is actually when we are at our strongest points, because we finally dare to seek for help justru, when we are starting to drift off by ourselves, menjauh dari semuanya, dan memilih untuk diam, that is when we finally reach our lowest point. it is not the cry that shows our white flags, it is the silence. because we dont even try to seek for help anymore. because we dont even try to reach out for hands anymore. the silence is the sign when we get to drown, and we don't even want anyone else to know that we are drowning that's why, if you find some people on your social media, like your friends, who still show the weakness to seek for help, damn your lucky, it means you can

hi, i just finished writing up some letters so when i finally decide to do it, my last words have already written in those letters but first, let me say that, hey, it has been a long time i havent written anything in here haha why? because i was getting better for the past two weeks i could finally sleep i could finally eat i could finally... mm, meet and talk to people? alright for the last one i really, really, really have to put so much efforts to do so i still tremble and feel suffocate when i meet and talk to people, even my closest ones but hey, i gotta do it, right? gak peduli segimana sakitnya, i still gotta do it and then, for the past one week, it all came again the anxiety, the depression, it is creeping me all over again it is eating me all over again from the inside but hey, once again, gak peduli segimana sakitnya, i still gotta do it gue juga sebenernya enggak enak badan dari Kamis pagi muntah-muntah dan beler deh pokoknya h